Humility

The majority of, if not all, the pain in my life is caused by my own ego. My ego is made up of emotional reactions to all the experiences of this lifetime pieced together into my own personal Frankenstein’s monster. The only thing my ego cares about is self-preservation. It wants to solidify its identity at all costs. My ego doesn’t care about happiness, joy, or peace. It is not bothered by pain, fear, and anger. Rather, my ego uses these emotions as tools to shape its character and carefully cut out anything that does not support its identity.

My ego tries to convince me that I need to please other people. It does this by influencing my thoughts and actions. It wants me to think that I need the validation of others and that I am missing something that will win me said validation. It influences my preferences. It influences my likes and dislikes. It endeavors to take me to the heights of the most intoxicating bliss and then drop me into crippling depression. The more extreme the better. It doesn’t matter what direction.

Why though? Why does the ego do this? Because these feelings validate its identity. Happiness is not inherently bad. Too much excitement, however, will eventually lead back to pain and/or apathy. Discomfort is a normal part of life. But despair is unnecessary self-punishment. Left unchecked, the ego will wreak havoc on my emotions and quality of life.

So what is the prescribed solution for an out of control ego? Humility.

Humility is defined as “a modest or low view of one’s own importance.” My ego hates this definition because it implies that I need to lower myself and submit to others. I feel vulnerable when I have to submit. I don’t trust other people. Other people are evil and will DEFINITELY take advantage of me.

Although I understand all these thoughts originate from my ego, I don’t want to be naïve and just let people walk all over me. So how can I embrace humility without making myself weak or vulnerable? Simple. Realize and maintain awareness of the fact that the ego is an illusion and that there is no separation between my consciousness and literally everything else. I am connected to EVERYTHING so I am not really submitting to ANYTHING. All is one.

I like this approach much better because I don’t feel like I have to compromise or sacrifice anything. I don’t want to focus on giving up something. That is a negative perspective. Instead, I can reframe my perspective and focus on being connected in harmony with everything.

While in this state, there is no lack or loss. Everything is whole. There is no need to impress other people. They are, after all, me.