Overcoming Ego Sabotage
Becoming aware that I am part of a collective consciousness that connects all things has been the most liberating revelation of my life. While I am able to maintain awareness of this fact, I am in a state of peace. Nothing is extreme one way or another. I am not depressed or full of rage. I am also not excessively excited or happy. I am right down the middle. While in this state, everything flows naturally. Feelings of pain and discontent melt away. I believe this is similar to what Buddhist philosophy describes as the “Middle Way.”
However, I’ve discovered that sustaining this peaceful state is challenging. If I do not constantly make a conscious effort to remember that separation from all things is an illusion, my ego will creep back in and ruin everything. Above all else, my ego fears death. When it feels threatened, its survival instincts kick in and it does everything it can to preserve itself by exacerbating the sense of separation from all things.
What does this look like? For me, it often manifests as inflated feelings of wanting something. It feels like an emptiness that can only be filled if I have that thing. My ego tries to convince me that I am missing something and I NEED that thing in order to be complete. That thing is tied to my identity so if I don’t have it, I will feel hollow. The thing my ego is trying to convince me to need could be anything. It could be clothes, shoes, jewelry, gadgets, toys, music, cars, instruments, and even relationships.
These things are not inherently bad. But the nature of my attachment to these things is the root cause of my pain. There are two concepts that I have found to help me maintain healthy relationships/boundaries with everything in my life and keep my ego in check.
1. I am already complete. I do not need anything external to complete me. After all basic necessities are met (air, water, food, clothing, and shelter), everything else is just a nice to have decoration. I don’t need to spend time, money, or energy obtaining external possessions or validation to achieve a state of wholeness. Peace, happiness, and fulfillment can be conscious choices.
2. I am connected with everyone and all things. Because there is no separation between me and literally everything else, I lack nothing. Therefore, I don’t need to want anything in order to be happy and fulfilled.
I have found that if I am able to maintain awareness of these two concepts, everything flows naturally. Behaving authentically becomes effortless, and I project peaceful energy to my surroundings. As a result, my interactions with everybody around me become much friendlier. I become more tolerant and patient. Things that used to bother me now seem frivolous and inconsequential. It is in this state that I am truly free, and I realize that heaven is everywhere right here right now all the time. All is one.